While competence is highly valued, it is evaluated only after trust is established.
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• Can I trust this person?
• Can I respect this person?
Psychologists refer to these dimensions as warmth and competence respectively. Ideally you want to be perceived as having both.
Warmth, or trustworthiness, is the most important factor in how people evaluate you.
If someone does not trust you, you are not going to get very far. You might even elicit suspicion because you come across as manipulative.
Displaying your strength can backfire
Cuddy says, “A warm, trustworthy person who is also strong elicits admiration, but only after you’ve established trust does your strength become a gift rather than a threat.”
Connect, Then Lead Harvard Business Review, Summer 2013
Warmth facilitates trust and the communication and absorption of ideas. Even a few small nonverbal signals; a nod, a smile, an open gesture, can show people that you are pleased to be in their company and attentive to their concerns. Prioritizing warmth helps you connect immediately with those around you, demonstrating that you hear them, understand them, and can be trusted by them.
When we feel confident and calm, we project authenticity and warmth.